1. Learn to respect all women
2. Stop the objectification
3. To attend one of these or a similar group on a regular basis in addition to your current therapy;
4. Permanently Clean up: computers, phones etc of all porn, images, video, email, texts and websites etc. Cancel all subscriptions and permanently disable all secret accounts and emails. Delete contact info, unfriend on FB, LinkedIn etc all ex girlfriends, hookup partners etc. Get tested for STDs immediately.
5. Get educated in this. Read and then read some more.
6. Platonic boundaries with other women will be maintained at all times. No contact of any kind with exes (other than platonic communication with your ex wife of course because of the children) or women you’ve have previous relations with or tried to. If I am to be in a relationship with you there is to be no mistake about this. Exclusive means no one else- just you and me.
7. You must be aware of how all this has affected me and continues to affect me. You are unable to think about me having been in other relationships before you. You must understand how difficult it is for me to know you’ve been with other women while we were together. I expect consistency and want to feel safe and secure.
8. Full disclosure of all behavior and all women. I need to understand what has happened. I need to trust you. I want to trust you. Trust needs to be built back. I don’t want a relationship without trust. I understand this will be difficult but it needs to be done before we can move forward.
9. I don’t want to have to keep track of and check up on you. I will honor your privacy but at the slightest hint of something not adding up I will discuss it with you for clarification. I expect honesty and transparency at all times.
10. Intimacy- I expect intimacy of all kinds. I am far from a prude and I don’t think our sex life has ever been lacking or will be in the future. But I want your whole heart.
11. You will not visit any type of establishment where women or sex are being sold or viewed. No Strip Clubs. No Adult Stores. No Massage Parlors. etc. This includes patronizing any location for prostitutes whether it be an actual establishment, on the street or the internet. No risky behavior of any kind.