I’m in a very emotional place tonight. Not only did I watch “Shame”, an extremely graphic and emotional movie about a sex addict but I was expecting finality with him as well.
He had a few things of his that had been stored at my house for a year now that he had not picked up from the last time we broke up. I’m putting my house on the market (another emotional decision for a few reasons) and I saw he had not taken a bicycle and an expensive ladder along with a few other things that were still in my barn.
I should never have asked him and just thrown them out. I text him to confirm that they were his and if he wanted them. He said he did. I text him that I’d like him to pick up his things asap and he said ok. I asked him to let me know when he’d be by and I received no answer. I sent another text a couple days later, and again no answer. I sent another msg and received “I don’t know. Maybe this weekend.”
Me: “Why don’t you know? There’s no need to drag this out.”
Him: “Because I’m busy this weekend.
Me: ” You have until Sunday night.”
Him: “Or what?”
(now I got pissy)
Me: “Look. Take an hour out of your nostringsattached searches and pick it up. I’m sure she will understand”.
(I know, it was terrible to say but that was how I felt. Then I felt bad and send a followup…)
Me: “Its best this way. Please give me a 2 hour notice when you will be by.”
Me: “I understand all this is a control issue for you. But you have to understand that I need to move on and heal”
Him: “I understand.”
Me: “Then be the kind and compassionate 41 year old that I fell in love with and not drag this on further hurting me.”
Early this afternoon he sent me a txt telling me he’d be by around 8pm. Ok. Great. Finality. But…. I got another txt an hour before he said he’d be here saying… “I can’t come get that stuff tonight. Sorry. Tomorrow?”
I’m tired of this shit. This goes to show yet again that I made the right decision. His word is garbage. It means shit. He will never be able to keep his word. He will never get better.
I’m angry. I’m frustrated. He did this the last time we broke up too. When I asked him why- he actually told me it was because he wasn’t “ready to let me go”.
This is fucking manipulative and controlling bullshit.
I told him “no”.
I love him, but he cannot be in my life.
He is on a path to self destruction and I won’t subject myself to it.
His sex addiction may control him, but I will not allow it to control me.